45 Witty Will Rogers Quotes to make you Smile and Think


1.“ Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” — WILL ROGERS


2.“ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.” — WILL ROGERS


3. “If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?” — WILL ROGERS

4. “Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.” — WILL ROGERS


5. “If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.” — WILL ROGERS


6. “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for” — WILL ROGERS


7. “I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.” — WILL ROGERS


8. “Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.” — WILL ROGERS


9. “We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.” — WILL ROGERS



10. “I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him ‘father’.” — WILL ROGERS


11. “Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.” — WILL ROGERS


12. “The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter-he’s got to just know.” — WILL ROGERS


13. “I never met a man that I didn’t like.” — WILL ROGERS


14. “The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.” — WILL ROGERS


15. “An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.” — WILL ROGERS


16. “With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.” — WILL ROGERS


17. “There’s the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book.” — WILL ROGERS


18. “The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” — WILL ROGERS


19. “There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.” — WILL ROGERS


20. “You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.” — WILL ROGERS


21. “There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.” — WILL ROGERS


22. “This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.” — WILL ROGERS


23. “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” — WILL ROGERS



24. “I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.” — WILL ROGERS


25. “No party is as bad as its leaders.” — WILL ROGERS


26. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” — WILL ROGERS


27. “Common sense ain’t common.” — WILL ROGERS


28. “The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.” — WILL ROGERS


29. “On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.” — WILL ROGERS


30. “The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.” — WILL ROGERS


31. “The only way to beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.” — WILL ROGERS


32. “Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.” — WILL ROGERS


33. “So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” — WILL ROGERS


34. “You can’t say that civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.” — WILL ROGERS


35. “Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.” — WILL ROGERS


36. “When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.” — WILL ROGERS


37. “This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.” — WILL ROGERS


38. “The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.” — WILL ROGERS



39. “The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?” — WILL ROGERS


40. “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” — WILL ROGERS


41. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — WILL ROGERS


42. “A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.” — WILL ROGERS


43. “Strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet.” — WILL ROGERS


44. “Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” — WILL ROGERS


45. “Things will get better – despite our efforts to improve them.” — WILL ROGERS


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