45 Will Rogers Quotes: The Witty Perspective of a Humorist

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45 Witty Will Rogers Quotes to make you Smile and Think

 

1.“ Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” — WILL ROGERS

 

2.“ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.” — WILL ROGERS

 

3. “If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?” — WILL ROGERS

4. “Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.” — WILL ROGERS

 

5. “If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.” — WILL ROGERS

 

6. “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for” — WILL ROGERS

 

7. “I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.” — WILL ROGERS

 

8. “Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.” — WILL ROGERS

 

9. “We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.” — WILL ROGERS

 



 

10. “I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him ‘father’.” — WILL ROGERS

 

11. “Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.” — WILL ROGERS

 

12. “The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter-he’s got to just know.” — WILL ROGERS

 

13. “I never met a man that I didn’t like.” — WILL ROGERS

 

14. “The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.” — WILL ROGERS

 

15. “An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.” — WILL ROGERS

 

16. “With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.” — WILL ROGERS

 

17. “There’s the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book.” — WILL ROGERS

 

18. “The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” — WILL ROGERS

 

19. “There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.” — WILL ROGERS

 

20. “You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.” — WILL ROGERS

 

21. “There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.” — WILL ROGERS

 

22. “This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.” — WILL ROGERS

 

23. “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” — WILL ROGERS

 



 

24. “I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.” — WILL ROGERS

 

25. “No party is as bad as its leaders.” — WILL ROGERS

 

26. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” — WILL ROGERS

 

27. “Common sense ain’t common.” — WILL ROGERS

 

28. “The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.” — WILL ROGERS

 

29. “On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.” — WILL ROGERS

 

30. “The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.” — WILL ROGERS

 

31. “The only way to beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.” — WILL ROGERS

 

32. “Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.” — WILL ROGERS

 

33. “So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” — WILL ROGERS

 

34. “You can’t say that civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.” — WILL ROGERS

 

35. “Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.” — WILL ROGERS

 

36. “When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.” — WILL ROGERS

 

37. “This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.” — WILL ROGERS

 

38. “The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.” — WILL ROGERS

 



 

39. “The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?” — WILL ROGERS

 

40. “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” — WILL ROGERS

 

41. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — WILL ROGERS

 

42. “A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.” — WILL ROGERS

 

43. “Strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet.” — WILL ROGERS

 

44. “Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” — WILL ROGERS

 

45. “Things will get better – despite our efforts to improve them.” — WILL ROGERS

 

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Kristina

Kristina is a talented graphic designer, photography and videographer. Focusing specifically on creating the Spanish section of B&K MAg, she directs the branding and strategy of the publication. As a marketer, she is committed to a mission of leaving the world a better place than she met it.

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